Labels

A few weeks ago the sermon at church was about labels. Labels divide. They make us feel safe. They give us some sort of identity. They create a thus versus them scenario.

As a newly diagnosed--unknown type--diabetic I have recently become obsessed with labels. Moreover, I have become obsessed with trying to label my diabetes, classify it, diagnose it...at the selfish cost of having my doctors run very expensive genetic tests to determine if I am MODY. Due to my age, my BMI, reasonable fitness level, inconclusive test results, and lack of strong family history my doctor cannot give me a definitive answer as to whether I am a honeymooning Type I, MODY, LADA or Type II. There is even a suspicion that I might have secondarily acquired diabetes due to a bout with acute pancreatitis at age sixteen.

As a possible Type II, I feel shame and guilt due to the stereotypes I have come to believe over the years. Is this my fault? Did my sweet tooth and love for carbohydrates do me in? I inappropriately feel resentment toward any seemingly healthy obese person that I meet. At the same time, there is a sense of relief (at leasts it's not the bad kind and a little diet and exercise should go a long way). As a possible Type I, MODY, LADA,.... I feel dread over a life of insulin and the scary hypos I read about. I oddly also feel secretly relieved that it's not my fault (followed by terribleness that this thought eveb flew across my mind)...

But is any of this anyone's fault? Do genetics and chance play more of a role than we realize in all types of diabetes. Do labels divide more than they help us to identify? Only a few weeks into this and already I have noticed the divide in the online diabetic community. As these thoughts have been flowing across my mind, I came upon the most recent SUM post, commenting on recent media diabetes jokes, and she gets it...that jokes, stereotypes, and labels only divide and hurt us all in this fight.